The Ideal Time to Propose to a Girl

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You’ve probably heard of the famous love quote-“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.” Sure, if there’s a girl you’ve begun to like you should let her know. But when? Here are some telltale signs to look for before you propose her.

1.You’re not just another person in her life

Are you one of those guys who spend one month admiring their crush from a distance while she doesn’t even know you exist? If that is the case then now is certainly not the right moment to propose. You don’t think accepting a total stranger as your boyfriend/girlfriend is really cool, do you? Neither does she. So if she doesn’t know you right now, let her know you.


Love in IndiaPhoto by Darwin Bell

2. She’s friends with you

The best thing to do is to start with a ‘Hi!’ Ah you probably knew that one. Now all you have to do is to put it into action overcoming all your shyness. Start a conversation with her about trivial things. Your objective is to become friends with her-to create a situation where she’ll want to talk to you and she’ll crave your company.

3.She trusts you

Once again-forget about someone getting into a relationship with someone they don’t trust. If you propose to her before you’ve gained her trust chances are she’ll turn you down. So it’s not enough to be friends with her. You need to be in her inner circle-one of the top three. You must be the one she turns to when she needs help with something. You must be the one she likes to hang out with most often. In short, you need to ‘build it up’- cultivate a liking (not necessarily romantic) for you in her mind.

4. Something common

Find out about her interests and try to find something in common with her-something the two of you can talk about. If you really have nothing in common read up on her interests so that you can have a meaningful conversation about it. Of course, if you’ve met her at your school/college/workplace this point is irrelevant because you already have something in common which you can talk endlessly about. :D


Love in IndiaPhoto by noe**

5.You have the gut feeling

At the right time it’ll not be difficult for you to pick up the telltale signals. That smile that lights up her face when she sees you, that twinkle in her eyes…they’ll all tell you, “This is the right moment.” Go ahead and do it then. How? Check this out.
 
 

36 thoughts on “The Ideal Time to Propose to a Girl”

  1. Hello,
    It looks little bit weired to ask a personal question publically but, something has to put an end to this in meaningful way…
    Here it goes –
    I like a girl who is from native place and studies there, I am out for studies in a city. To build up trust and ‘more than friends’ kinda relationships, I don’t get to meet her very often, rather we meet once in 6 months or so. On phone calls, it seems good but still I don’t get the realistic feel. What would you advice to interact more with her and get a place in her heart?

  2. Hi Prateek,
    Really sorry for the late reply.
    To me, distance has it own charms. When you’re not face to face with each other, you can open yourselves up much more, and this is especially true if you’re at a crush-but-not-officially-together-yet, initial, shy and flirtatious stage of your relationship. Move the focus away from phone calls to more of chatting and texting, that’s way more romantic and exciting than drab phone calls. I’m quite a shy person by the way (I know you don’t believe this but try having the same conversation with me offline and you’ll see :P ). I met my husband through Facebook and he thought I’m a terrific flirt until he met me (when I looked slightly demented). ;)
    So distance has it’s advantages. To add a bit more spice, try HoochyMail, where you can key in some details of both you and your crush and the system will generate a romantic/sensual story about the two of you, which you can then send as a surprise gift to her over email! I was really excited the first time I tried this. If you don’t like the story though, feel free to give me the details and I’ll give you your custom story. I bet you’d love it. ;)
    Also check out this article on ways of making a long distance relationship work. Hope that helps. And do write back any more questions, doubts, comments, ideas, concerns you might have. :)

  3. Hello!
    There is one beautiful girl to whom i’m attracted. It all started in computer classes where she borrowed my book. I didn’t know her. It was like ‘love at first sight’ when i saw her. We exchanged numbers, but i didn’t call her even once. She called me first and asked my friendship. I accepted immediately and we started chatting and talking on the phone. we know each other for 4 months now. She lives very far from my place. I have been talkin to her on the phone and meeting her occasionally whenever she is in my town or when i’m in her’s. We are now bestest friends. I’m starting to like her. So many guys have proposed her and got rejected bcoz she says that she’ll love only that guy to whom she’ll marry. She belives in arranged marriage. And the biggest problem is that she is 4 years elder than me(25 years):( I’m the youngest in my family(21 years) I’m a sikh and she is south indian. There are lot questions always running in my mind that:
    Will it be right if i propose her?
    Should i keep it till friendship only?
    Will this long distance and occasional meeting affect our relationship?
    Will she wait so long for marriage if she agrees?
    Will her parents agree?
    Will ‘my’ parents agree?
    What if she rejects me sayin that i’m younger than her?
    How can i attract her towards me?
    When is the right time to propose her?
    Any tips on how to propose her?

    Please help:(

    1. First of all there’s no such thing as “Love At First Sight(LAFS).” What is mistaken by people (and you) as love at first sight is actually attraction at first sight, which may or may not lead to love eventually.
      The girl seems to like you too.
      Have you seen the movie Outsourced, where the girls describe their pre-martial romance as a “Holiday in Goa” – a temporary happy time spent with someone they like/love before they return into their parents’ iron fists, resigned to an inevitable future arranged marriage? Her case seems to be similar. She’s attracted to you but she doesn’t want to ruffle feathers with her parents and is decided to marry whoever her parents choose.
      Given the situation (your age and ethnicity differences, her conservative family etc.), you shouldn’t say anything directly to her. Write a message (don’t do this on call) saying something like this: “I’ve heard you’ve rejected many guys ’cause you don’t want to marry against your parents wishes. Do you think they’ll agree to you marrying a guy who’s much younger to you? Just asking… :P”
      Just that should be enough for her to understand what you’re trying to say, and she’ll respond.
      If her response is positive, congratulations.
      If it’s not, don’t press it. Instead gradually reduce interactions with her. Your feelings for her are at a very early stage now. If you have to let her go, the earlier you do it the better for you.
      And don’t stay “just friends”. The worst way to bid farewell to a romantic possibility is to “stay friends”. It makes you feel like they’re somehow somewhere available when they’re not. It makes you available to them forever as a fall back option, an emotional support when they need it. And most importantly, it hinders you from investing emotionally in other romantic possibilities around you.

      Reality is reality and we can’t deny it. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying one should marry as per their parents’ choice. But if someone has already decided they want to do so, you shouldn’t pressurize/nag them about it. It’s their choice.

      Focus on yourself instead. Enjoy being single and free. Unlike what society tells us there are a lot of good things about singlehood which we miss out in our search for that special someone throughout this period. Check this recent post: Being Single: The 7 Principles of Enjoying Your Singlehood

      All the best. :)

  4. She doesn’t know me properly but she always see me and me too
    what to do next?
    And in our school we propose a girl then she tell to every one and problem starts

    1. Get to know her a bit. Go out with her if you can. Do not propose her as your first step. Just tell her you’d like to go to a movie with her. Or want to go out and grab a coffee with her. Tell her you think you and she could be great friends and hence you want to know her better.
      See how that works. ATB :)

      1. Hello….
        I am working in a company. Here is a girl I am attracted to. I like her. I always make her laugh by making fun of others and sometimes I also tease her. How can I make her to like me. She seems like she doesnot love anybody but she asks me about do you have a girl friend. Did you propose her like questions. She came to a conclusion that I don’t have a girl friend. I want your help. If everything goes perfect even I can marry her. By the way I look short. She used to tease me. But one day while we were walking she told me that you are not short as I thought. May be I am little short than her. I think she is a mature girl. How can I approach her.

  5. Hello
    plzz help me i love a girl in neighbour she is very attractive and she also thinks abaut me, I think. She also knows my feeling but i hav’nt porposed her yet, we don’t get time alone. How can i porpose her.

  6. Hi yar,
    last month I have joined a company.I fall in love with a girl in my office …we chat reguraly..mujeh usko khene ka bahut mann hai..lekin mujeh yeh chinta hai ki phele woh accept karegi ki nahi..main phele bhi rejection khaya hu college main ek ladki se so thoda darr raha hu propose karne main ki she will accept it or not.Agar usnein accpt kar liya toh mujeh yeh problem hai ki meri family usko accept karenge ki nahi…She is from mysore and I am from ranchi.jab main apni mummy ko bataa hu ki main love marriage karunga toh woh rone lagti hai ..so agar main uski propose karu aur woh accept kar li aur meri family ne usse accept nahi kiya toh usko hurt hoga,,toh main usko propse karu ya na karu??bahut badi problem main hu..please help me

    1. Sanjeev,I think you’ve taken a very logical approach to this. You’re considering your family situation BEFORE proposing a girl. I’ve written a lot about this aspect, pls check:

      How to Convince your Parents for a Love Marriage – 6 Steps
      Challenges of Intercaste Relationships and How to Handle Them
      Impress your Girlfriend’s/Boyfriend’s Parents Before Discussing Marriage

      What to do When Your Parents Just WON’T Agree to Your Marriage.

      If you’re sure that you will not be in a position to move out of your parents home and choose your own life at any point of time it’s probably best that you don’t involve in any such relationships now. You’re right – what’s the point hurting someone else when you know you can’t go against your parents?

  7. hello….
    maine ek frnd prpos kia bt usko phele kisi se dhoka mila h to usse ab rlsn pr blyf nai h……………..to ussne muzhe mnaa kr diya or bola ki hm frnds forevr rhege.
    mai ussko ab kaise mnaau plzz help me

  8. its rilli true………….i got my true luv by that……………and m d happiest person in world now….:) i rilli luv her too mch ….

  9. I saw a girl waiting for her college bus in the morning..I just fell for her..A few days I passed in front of her..just was able to turn her head on me…I want to make a friendship and obviously into a love..pls advice

    1. Sabari you have to talk to her.
      Here’s what you need: Proposing a girl – tips for overcoming shyness
      Mustering up the courage to approach a girl is the first step. Talk to her. Get to know her a little. Chat with her online if you can:

      Facebook dating etiquette – Part 1
      Facebook dating etiquette – Part 2

      Finally, here are a lot more tips to help you out:

      How to Impress a Girl into Liking You: 6 Tips
      How to Impress Your Girlfriend
      How to Flirt with a Girl – 5 Rules for Flirting with Indian Girls
      Top 5 First Date Mistakes Men Make
      Proposing a Girl-Tips for Overcoming Shyness
      The Ideal Time to Propose to a Girl

      Let me know how things go. :)

      1. @loveinindia . First Of All Nice Post.
        I’m a B.E Student. I Like Programming & I always believe In Logic. I Thought, Love is a chemical state of mind.
        Now, I fall in love, with my classmate. I Think She likes me. Now, The Problem is, at first I think, I spoil some opportunity. Like I ignored her, etc. Because I thought, it’s my last year and i don’t want to spoil it, i want to go for higher study. But now, I can’t focus.
        I know i made a big mistake. This Sunday i’m going to meet her. Should I propose to Her? or Ask for a date.
        What To Do?

  10. hello loveindia,
    I love a girl.she is my classmate.she has a big brother.I want to express my feelings to her but I’m afraid that she will reject me and tell to her brother.what should I do?

  11. I have a crush on a girl.She is my classmate.I love hear and i want to propose her.but i am afraid of getting rejected and afraid that she will tell to her parents and her big brother.What to do??? Pls hlp me out!!!!

  12. I am a student in 10 th STD and I have seen a girl who is studying in 9th STD. I love her. But she doesn’t know me, me neither.
    I know that non of the girls like an unknown guy. I have the confidence to introduce myself and propose myself. But will she regret me?
    And I am little bit brown, will she fall in love with a guy like me?
    Iam have saw her daily, but we didn’t know each other, how can I introduce myself to her?
    I need ur help??? Plz,,,,,……
    How can I start with her?
    What sould b the 1st dialouge?
    Will my colour will be a problem?
    I didn’t even know her class, then how can i start a conversation with her?

  13. I am a student in 10 th STD and I have seen a girl who is studying in 9th STD. I love her. But she doesn’t know me, me neither.
    I know that non of the girls like an unknown guy. I have the confidence to introduce myself and propose myself. But will she regret me?
    And I am little bit brown, will she fall in love with a guy like me?
    Iam have saw her daily, but we didn’t know each other, how can I introduce myself to her?
    I need ur help??? Plz,,,,,……
    How can I start with her?
    What sould b the 1st dialouge?
    Will my colour will be a problem?
    I didn’t even know her class, then how can i start a conversation with her?
    How can I get to know her?

  14. Guys, I’m talking very openly with a girl over a year and I love her now as I can say she is my first love…. How can I know that it is the right time to propose ??

    Reply back guys….

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