Your Love in India is now on Facebook

Hey guys – a quick update from my side – we’ve just launched a Facebook fan page!

Love in India FacebookPhoto by craftsquatch

I’ve created the page so that I can share with you all the interesting tidbits related to love & relationships that I come across-photos, quotes, jokes, articles, viewpoints, opinions, news …everything. You’re most welcome to share anything interesting as long as it’s relevant. Also feel free to ask a question/post your opinion to be discussed & debated by the community. So hit Like to join all the fun!
Look at the right sidebar of this page for a really cool little banner saying “Facebook”. Roll your cursor over it to Like us on Facebook.
Love in India is a baby with a huge dream –she wants to do her bit in helping Indians (you) become more open in the way they think about relationships. And in the process she wants to be your one-stop friend, philosopher & guide for all your relationship worries & stories. Only you can help her realize her ambitious dreams through your engagement & support.

Love in IndiaPhoto by Aaron J Photography

Help! I’m in love with my best friend! (Part 2)

In my last post I talked about the three key questions to consider if you start feeling like you’re in love with your best friend. So if you’re sure about your feelings, have asked yourself these questions and have also mustered up the courage to propose to your girl, here are the top three mistakes to avoid before you blurt it out.

#1. Flirt, but don’t overdo it

I love my best friendPhoto by motoed

Don’t be afraid to get a bit flirty in your daily conversations with you best friend. However, knowing where to draw the line is key. “You’re looking ravishing today!” is ok, whereas “You’re looking hot! I wish I could lay you.” is crude and will cause you to lose her trust fast.
Text her just a tad more often than earlier. “Missing you…” / “waiting to see you in college tomorrow…”/ “Can’t wait to see you this weekend…” is cool.
Above all – whenever you meet her let your eyes speak. ;)

#2. Don’t be her dog

The worst (and most common) mistake guys make after their eureka moment of “I’m in love with my best friend” is to become her dog. You know what I mean. He’ll become an overly supportive wherever-you-go-I-follow obsequious servant of hers. Believe me guys, that’s the best and fastest way to lose a girl’s respect.

I love my best friendPhoto by ☆Mi☺Λmor☆

You’re thinking “She’ll realize I’m so caring.”
She’s thinking, “Jeez! This guy has no personality of his own!”
Show her that you care for her. But all with a healthy dose of manly confidence & personality.

#3. Avoid possessiveness like plague

Another very common mistake while hinting at the fact that you’re in love with your best friend is to become possessive of her.

Where is she going?

Who is she spending her time with?

She didn’t turn up at school/college/work today…could she be spending the day with some guy???

STOP those thoughts the moment they occur. You’re in love with your best friend (or anybody) doesn’t mean you own them. Be grateful for having a special place in her life already. Stop the urges to know more and control more of her life than she willingly invites you to do.
Don’t ask the obvious questions. Wait for her to answer you before you ask. Let’s say she didn’t turn up at school/college/work one day. When she turns up the next day, causally ask, “How’re you? Everything alright?” Don’t add, “Why didn’t you turn up yesterday?”. This will show her that you care for her and yet respect her privacy. That goes a long way in gaining the trust of most girls. If you can do that, it’ll draw her closer. Most likely she’ll spontaneously explain the reason of her absence to you sometime.

Any other cardinal step to take before you propose to your best friend who you’re in love with? Please share through the comments section.

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Help! I’m in love with my best friend! (Part 1)

Recently one of my readers-Babblu- asked me – what if I’m starting to feel like I love my best friend? How should you deal with it? Should I go ahead and let them know how I feel, or keep my feelings to myself? Even if I let her know about my feelings, what’s the best way to do it?
So I thought I’d post a series on how to propose a girl who’s your friend. Today let’s take a look at the three key questions to ask yourself when you start feeling like you’re in love with your best friend.

Q #1. Is it real?

Love is a big word. First ask yourself – am I really in love with my best friend, or I’m just liking her more as a result of spending more and more/less time with her than earlier? It’s a fact of nature, that if we spend more time with people we already like, our bond with them tends to grow stronger. On the other hand, if you’re used to spending a lot of time with your best friend, and suddenly she gets into a new relationship/job etc. causing her to spend less time with you, you might start missing her and have the feeling that you’re in love with your best friend.

I love my best friendPhoto by silje/vanilje

Q #2. Can it hurt your friendship?

Ok, so you’re decided. You’ve asked yourself all the right questions and now you’re sure you really are in love with your best friend. But before you go ahead and blurt it out there are still more questions you need to ask yourself.
Are you picking up her cues correctly? Does she seem to share your feelings too, or she really hasn’t ever thought of you as anything other than her friend? Try to be as objective with yourself as you can be. Yes I know-it’s very, very difficult, ‘cause love makes you blind and forces you to ignore all evidence tell yourself that the person you’re mad about is mad about you too. But do yourself a favour and before you proceed any further, look for clues of her real feelings towards you.

How important is your friendship? Are you prepared to forgo your friendship in case she’s not comfortable in the new situation? In the unfortunate case that she doesn’t want to get romantically involved with you, your friendship might suffer a setback because of the new developments.

I love my best friendPhoto by arthur+martha

Q #3. Can it hurt your other relationships?

What is her relationship status – official or unofficial? Is she seeing someone? Is she in a steady relationship? In either of these cases, think seriously before declaring your love to your best friend. Try to gauge the depth of her other relationship, if any. If you know her boyfriend/date or you’re friends with him, be extra careful.

In the next part we’ll look at how to propose to a girl who’s your best friend, in case you have answered all the above three questions in the positive.

Relationship troubles? Avail of our FREE unlimited one-to-one counselling to help you work your way to a happy & fulfilling love life!

In Search of True Love…

Hey there! A big Hello to all of you. More than a year (and a whole marriage-read on for more about that!) later, I’m finally back to the blogosphere again!

It’s surely a special feeling to be talking to you after such a long time! I’m sure you’ve missed me, and you have no idea how much I’ve missed you. :(

So what should I start with? Yes I know, it doesn’t need telling – surely you want to know what I have been up to.

I have been up to finding love. Cheesy? Not. And that’s what I want to share with you today.

What is love?

I was striving hard to put my feelings about love into word, when I found this great post, which felt a bit like the transcript of my heart speaking –

“Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don’t fully understand. Similarly, we can stage a seduction or mount a courtship, but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or two illusions dancing together, than love.”

Shubho & Sulagna in MauritiusThat’s me and him. (Ok. Dumb.)

That pretty much sums up what I always believed-love happens. (Oh yes I’m an incurable romantic!) I had promised myself never to get hitched until I felt “this is the best thing in the world that could happen to me”. For me, that was the litmus test of true love.

Introducing Mr…

So here I was, napping my days away happily at home after finishing business school, when Mr. Cool pinged me. Now I know you’re not gonna believe this, but that very moment I knew. I knew that the guy I have secretly fancied for two years but never managed to talk to, was finally mine forever. ;)
I drowned, headfirst.

For the uninitiated-the first days of love is like a full-time job. Once hired, you just aren’t allowed to concentrate on anything else. So I stopped functioning.(Really!!) It was a sweep-you-off-your-feet-and-end-your-thought-process all-encompassing obsession. Naturally. ;) So your favourite web destination took a backseat. (I’m sorry. I mean it.)

To cut long story short, here we were, about a year later….

Shubho & Sulagna weddingThe Wedding!

And now that’s 6 months old too. Armed with the experience of a nerve-racking ecstatic-devastating courtship & an even more colourful 6 months of marriage, I thought it’s time to get back to my half-forgotten love-child, Love in India.

I’m sure you can imagine how excited I am to be back. I hope you are, too!

To being back & meeting my friends (you) again. See you tomorrow.