14 Signs: Is My Boyfriend Cheating on Me?

Are you of late wondering if something has changed in your relationship? Does it seem to you that your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore? Is it possible that he’s cheating on you? This article brings to you fourteen powerful signs to tell if he’s cheating.


Love in IndiaPhoto by starush

1.Use your woman’s intuition

You have a gut feeling that something is wrong. The old spark that used to spring up into his eyes and smile on seeing you, is missing. Never ignore your woman’s 6th sense when it comes to the fidelity of your boyfriend.

2.Too many gifts

He never bought you so many gifts in your entire relationship as he did last month! This is his guilty mind trying to compensate you for what he’s doing to you.

3.Criticizing the lover

There’s someone you both know who you’re boyfriend is continually criticizing of late. Of course no affair could be going on between him and her, for God’s sake, right? Wrong. He’s just trying to make you come to that conclusion by criticizing her, who’s actually his secret lover.

4.No missing you

He doesn’t seem to miss you at all when you’re not with him. Earlier he used to call you five times a day. You used to meet almost every day. Nowadays he almost never calls you.

5.Missed calls

Sometimes when you call him, he lets the phone ring or rejects your call. Later gives unconvincing explanations.

6.Irritability, rudeness

He seems irritated all the time-anything and everything you do seems to make him angry. He’s rude with you all the time regarding trivial matters.

7.Mood swings

He’s of late earned the title of “Mr. Mood Swing”. Today he’s showing you so much affection and buying you gifts. Yesterday he made you cry with his rude words regarding something totally inconsequential. While you may be surprised by his mood swings, it’s a common effect of cheating. On the one had he’s feeling guilty about cheating you, and so trying to make it up to you. On the other he basically just can’t stand to spend time with you, because he’s not in love with you anymore, but he has to, because you’re still a couple, and this makes him very irritated inside.

8.No compliments

Earlier he would just look at you with mesmerized eyes for 10 seconds and comment that he was luckiest man alive as he has the most beautiful woman in the world as his girlfriend. But of late he’s just stopped complimenting you on your looks.

9.Email privacy

You never bothered keeping secrets from each other. You would check your emails in front of each other and leave the email account open, because you had nothing to hide from each other. Nowadays however, if you chance upon his open email account he rushes to close it and lectures you about individual privacy.

10.Password change

Some couples share email passwords. If you’re one of them, he’ll invariably change his password at this point of time. You’ll notice maybe many days after he’s actually changed it. If you ask him about it it’ll be the old “Privacy” lecture again.

11.Cell phone privacy

Same applies to his cell phone. You remember frequently teasing him saying, “Now I’m going to blow the lid off your other affairs,” and then taking his cell phone and going through all messages, only to find messages from his friends and mum. Then both of you would laugh and hug and kiss. These days his cell phone is apparently another fortress of his privacy, not to be touched by you.

12.Overreacting to inquiries

If you make perfectly normal and everyday inquiries like, “Hey honey! Where are you now?” or “We couldn’t meet last weekend because you were busy at work. So how’s the current project coming along?”, he becomes very defensive and accuses you for being over-suspicious, leaving you dumbfounded and wondering, “Suspicions about his fidelity weren’t even there at the darkest cranny of my mind…”

13.Talks of break-up

When you quarrel he frequently talks about ending the relationship, unlike before. The other day when you had a tiny tiff he said, “If you do that again don’t expect me to be with you anymore.” It was a horrible shock to you. That night you spent an hour crying into your pillow. If he’s cheating then this is an outcome of him not being in love with you anymore, and secondly of him having a fallback option.

14.Doesn’t say “I love you”

Do you remember when was the last time he said “I love you” to you? Yeah, it was around the same time that you last felt that spark in his eyes, that radiance in his smile, that eagerness in his kisses. Of late it seems that he’s there, but not really there. Emotionally he seems miles away from you.
A rule of thumb could be checking if about five or more of the above symptoms are there in your relationship. If so, don’t be too devastated to talk to your boyfriend about it, ‘cause there’s always a chance that the reason is something else. And what if you find out that he’s actually cheating? That’s the topic of another post. Meanwhile, leave a reply to tell me your thoughts.

12 thoughts on “14 Signs: Is My Boyfriend Cheating on Me?”

  1. Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to grasp so much about this, such as you wrote the e-book in it or something. An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

  2. My boyfriend is doing all those things, that means he doesn’t love me anymore. What must I do to win him back because I love him so much

  3. Hello all,

    I think many of you ask yourself, what if i had the password of my friend / girlfriend / boyfriend, associate, life partner, etc. .. to know the truth about your near partner, and reassuring that they do not hide you something. Would like to hear from you about it Love in India…

  4. My Boyfriend cheated me.. But he did not show any signs u mentioned here..
    I got his facebook, gmail passwords and I checked it.. That was really shocking for me.. Past so many years he was chatting with many girls including his ex lover. Flirting tricks, vulgour talks, love poems send to them etc etc.. I enquired about these to him. He told its just for fun.Dont take it serious. You are my one and only love.Iam only sincere to u.
    We loved 5 years. If he is sincere to me then how can he do so? I quarelled with him but later he promised me that he wont repeat this.
    Still Iam loving him. And We are getting married soon.But Iam sure that he will continue this. So how can I get back him? I dont want to lose him..

    Please somebody help me..

    1. Dear, I’m very disappointed to see you’re calling yourself a loser. You’re a loser if you think you are. Our thoughts and actions define us, not what people around us do. So come off it.
      So far as your boyfriend’s online habits are concerned, there are a couple of points:
      First of all, be very clear that what he’s doing has nothing to do with his love for you.
      Yeah that’s right.
      Love and excitement are not the same thing. You’re fortunate to have a five year long stable relationship, which is now culminating into marriage. But the stability also means periods of ennui, same-oldness. Lack of excitement.
      Tell you what – everyone wants both stability and excitement from a relationship (including you). But our society dictates only one accepted form of relationship called marriage which is based on stability, not excitement. Some people have a greater need of excitement than others, which might sometimes find expression in flirtatious tendencies like online chatting etc.
      This does not mean his love for you has decreased.
      Does that mean he should go on with such behaviour while you hurt yourself in silence?
      No.
      The two of you need to sit down and have a chat about which behaviours precisely are hurting you and he needs to stop those particular behaviours. One word of caution – over-possessiveness leading to too much surveillance might make a relationship claustrophobic, so steer clear of that.
      For example I personally in your situation would have no problem with a bit of harmless online chatting but would feel deeply hurt if that turns into sex-chatting/sex!!
      You need to decide what’s your level of comfort, while keeping in mind that this is about excitement/zing and not love. If he loves you he needs to respect that for the simple reason that it hurts you.

      1. I am in a relationship of 3 years and now our families are also into this relationship to convert into a matrimony…but I found last 3 months he was talking to a female who live next to his house ..at night around 11:30 after we had a talk…but he keep that secret…I found he had a talk with her at night…I asked him to said nothing like that she was a small sister for her…but am I doing a correct decision..I don’t know..

        1. Gunja – I don’t know what you’ve found, but unless they’re out and out sexts or something, there may not be anything to worry about. Go through my reply to the comment previous to yours please. It contains everything you need to know.
          Let me know if you have any more queries/doubts. :)

  5. I also have the same problem,my boyfriend makes sure that his cellphone is kept hid offlate something that was not happening before and he doesn’t have time for me anymore.I love him and do not want to loose him what can i do to win him coz i understand he is in love with another girl. Please help.

    1. The first step is to confront him openly but very calmly. Don’t get excited in the process, just ask him if there’s any reason for the recent change in his behaviour. If he’s unable to provide any explanation, tell him directly that you have reasons to suspect (NOT “believe” yet, always give him the benefit of doubt) that he might have found some other romantic interests on the side.
      If still nothing works, the last step is to start chatting online yourself. Sounds outrageous? Let me explain.
      You can’t change anyone. All you can do is give them a chance to change themselves. Hence, in this case it’s your duty to let your boyfriend knwo that he’s hurting your feelings, so that if he wants to change his ways, he can. But it’s NOT in your power to force him into giving up the other girls.
      Not directly, that is. ;)
      So the indirect way is to just give a tiny bit of indulgence to all those Facebook admirers of yours. ;) (You’re a girl. Don’t tell me you don’t have at least a dozen. ;))Don’t get me wrong – I’m NOT talking about romance, sex chat or any such thing. Just talk to them. Give them your precious time – something I’m sure you wouldn’t have done normally, given that you’re in a relationship and have no use for such irritants. Let them know you enjoy talking to them. When your boyfriend finds out tell him you’re not serious, and you think you both should have your space.
      Don’t tell him directly that this is meant as a tit-for-tat. But I think he’d get the message. ;)
      Let me know what you think.

  6. The only way you will ever know for sure if your boyfriend is cheating on you is if you catch him in the act or if he tells you straight up. I would really think about if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in and if not, get out of it. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

    1. You’re right Lusia. No one deserves to have someone walk all over them, or break their trust. Wait for some more insights on this topic on Love in India. :)

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