The Single’s Guide to Valentine’s Day in India

Here’s an excerpt from a blog post Amrita had written on her last year as a single maiden.

“OMG is it that dreaded day of the year already? Dammit I’ve missed the deadline this year too. Of getting a boyfriend, that is. As if treading on a surprise bouquet of roses meant for my roommate followed by discovering another one on the desk of my evil colleague weren’t enough to make me drown in chocolate (on Valentine’s Day discount already), all my friends on Facebook and Twitter have decided to remind me of all the cheesy romanticism in their lives, especially my best friend’s damn blog and her damn romance-oozing Facebook page”

Single's Valentine Day in IndiaPhoto by Mat_the_W

Oh wait. We weren’t around at the time. So why did she say anything about us? The world is a bit confusing sometimes…

Are you one of those people who can say with a fair bit of certainty that they’ll be single this Valentine’s Day? Are you (between you and me) feeling a bit miserable about it? I’m sure not, but just in case – here’s your Singles’ Valentine’s Day 101 to gear you up for your Totally-Irritating-And-Inconsequential Day.

  1. Wake up and forget about it.
  2. Chance upon this post and curse me for reminding you.
  3. If you’re in India, thank God for not making it a holiday – for some less fortunate singles of the world it is.
  4. Also if you’re in India, celebrate the fact that you don’t face any risk of being publicly beaten up by poli***l g**ns, as you’ll not be seen out celebrating the Day.
  5. Guys – Repeat after me: “Box of chocolates – Rs. 500, flowers – Rs. 500 (sounds crazy but I checked), romantic dinner – Rs. 2000, saving Rs. 3000 just by being single – Priceless!”
  6. Is feeling a bit lonely on one day too high a price to pay for 364 days of freedom? ;)
  7. Derive happiness from the fact that happiness is an imaginary condition, attributed by you to the couples and by couples to you.
  8. Being single is about perpetual hope. Being in a relationship is losing all hope. To most.
  9. I guess it’s for this reason that cupid rhymes with stupid.
  10. Write a letter to your ex (don’t send it). If you need any help with the choicest words, tell me. ;)
  11. Remind yourself that you’re single ’cause you’ve not settled for just about anybody. (Conveniently disregard the possibility that nobody settled for you.)
  12. OK it’s not for you. But so is Christmas to non-Christians who never miss their Christmas cakes anyway. Just use the excuse to buy yourself some real great chocolate!

Irrespective of whether you’re single or not, have a great weekend! ;)